there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
