Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
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