I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
