i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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