ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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