Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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