Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
