rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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