You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
did i just pee glitter
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
