he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize