Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
