Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
