So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Randomize
