yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
