He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
