He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
