What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So much rum. So many feels.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
