How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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