Your dad touched me again.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
