dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He? As in you personified your dick?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
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