If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize