my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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