thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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