hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think my moral compass just broke
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
