I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
