Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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