theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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