i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize