not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
soo... how was my night?
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