I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You left your phone here
Wait...
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