omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
