He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
