Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize