The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
