When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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