Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I need moral support for this bender
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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