Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
