In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
