kristin has been a bad kristin
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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