So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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