After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
