glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
tell me about the fingering
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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