We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
