Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
