So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
do herpes really smell.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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