I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
