u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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