Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
