he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
