I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
