It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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