so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
