listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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