Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Someone shit on the floor
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
