Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
