I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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