If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
