Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
