found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
