i need an iv and a liver transplant
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
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