she was so not down for the gang bang
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
PANTIES FOUND
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