I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
