So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
